so Chris and i haven't been getting a long very well lately.
And with yesterday's earthquake, well needless to say, i've lost it.
I was extremly freaked out with it. I just am not sure where to go from this point.
I don't know. I was talking about going back with my parents when they visit in a few weeks.
Chris said i would be 'letting him down' and that he's really upset about it. which, honestly, doesn't make me feel all that wonderful. I'm really shaken up from yesterday's wonderous event.
I'm not sure how to take it all in. and i've been in CA for 5 years. and not ONE earthquake. Now that the one happened yesterday i'm freaked that, the huge one will take place. and i'm running low on hope..
I took the earthquake as a sign from God. Telling me i need to get my life back on track and figured out. Last night I went outside because i couldn't sleep from being so upset with everything. I went outside and i just prayed. I prayed for strength and for mercy and healing. Strength to get me through the fear of earthquakes. and the fear of chris when he does get angry. also strength to push on with the right discision. Mercy, well more-so forgiveness for not being on the track i'm sure i should be on. and healing from the aftermath of the quakes. anbd how upset i was. boy was i upset.. So being on the 'right track' -----> so yes, go back with my parents. but i can't help but care and think about how upset chris will be.. also i have no money and with the upsetting situation; i doubt chris will pay for it. and my parents are paying for their trip out here. So a lot is running through my mind. and adding to that; Chris still is very temper-mental and has a lot of anger issues.
God help me please..
(any advice, please reply with). i'm running on E with everything.

blah fight fight ..=[

So i guess things have taken a turn for somekind of twist.
Chris and i got into an angry argument last night. well i guess it was this morning before he left for work three hours too early. which, that made me feel really great.. not.
I just don't know anymore. and at times i begin to think that blogging how i feel is stupid because everybody else i know posts blogs about their life, kids, and everything else God has blessed them with. Thats wonderful and i wish i could have that too. at times i think maybe, well obviously chris isn't who God wanted me to be with. and as much as i hate atmitting that, its really really true. Chris and I have seperate views on everything from religion, to raising children and that would all need to be solved before children even came in the picture.
i just dont' know anymore..
maybe i'm way over reacting and whatever but i just wish the fighting would end. if this is how we're going to be, forever, i kind of dont want it. and he knows this so he says he's trying to change. but really. is he? i can guess not.
any advice would be greatly appriciated. =]

I Just want this back, or i want different answers...

so i'm all new to this thing and a little unsure.
i started it because well, i needed a place to vent and i know a lot of people on here from a previous church i used to attend. so..
i guess i'm not sure where to start out.
My family's going to be visiting here in 3 weeks from now. So i'm real excited about that. we're planning to do disney, CAA, Knott's & soak city.
they'll be staying in a hotel in anehiem. fun fun fun.
Also, i'll be working the Halloween Haunt events at Knott's Berry Farm this year, as a Haunt Monster in one of the 16 mazes. so be sure to visit!!
thats all i guess for now.

MB